Jubilation turned to horror today as the Russian mini-sub that has been trapped on the ocean floor off Kamchatka was rescued by brave British semen.
Of the seven crewmen who went down with the sub, only six and a partially chewed left leg survived the ordeal. Stunned rescuers, some of them vomiting violently and repeatedly, watched in horror as Captain Vladimir Kruschenko emerged from the sub carrying the leg.
Kruschenko explained that the leg was all that remained of submariner Sergei Dekadenvic after he had been eaten by the rest of the crew. "We had plenty of food, in fact we knew our air would run out long before our rations, but when we became trapped Sergei was crying and crying, screaming like a baby We're going to die! We're going to die!'. We were so tired of it and after oh... three minutes or so we ate him."
At this time it's unclear whether any charges will be brought against the crew as maritime law allows for cannibalism in such circumstances.